I am a very short tempered person, gets angry on every other minute and thing tht i dont like.
And that has taught me that i have many times ignored or said something bad to people who are expressing their feelings to me for them whom they don’t like or get irritated with… not knowing that how they are feeling ..
But now when i realise that i am getting mad at xyz person and the reason is this, and then when i recollect same feelings of them who had sometime shared their same feelings with me and i had ignored them or had given a lecture of being nice to others,i feel like saying sorry to them for not understanding them in past.
How will they be nice to others if others are not nice to them, when i met those not so nice or irritating people i got the same feelings… now even i feel like sharing those same feelings to them who had shared with me once….
BUT.. i can not, i can not because of many reasons,
They were lucky that i was their with them to listen to what they are saying, also they were unlucky because i was the one listening to them but not the one who understood them, i wish i had, i wish i had not said that “dont talk to me if you want to say something bad for xyz and abc, you better say good things about them or dont tell me anything, i dont want to talk to you”….
Also i feel that its my punishment of not being able to share my feelings with them because i had said something like this and for not understanding them, today i feel i was rude, i didnt try to understand them, i was unable to understand, i am sorry, i couldnt understand you, i am sorry that i said not to talk to me, i am sorry that i couldn’t put myself in your shoe and think from your point, i am sorry, now i will always be with you , be it anything, i will first understand you, then others, you are most important for me and not those people…
Just found a photo on internet of an imaginary image of Time Machine made by someone somewhere in this world.
and i thought, i wish thr was a real Time Machine in this world, through which we could go back or forward in time ,
I wish i could find one .. and see whts in past and future … so exciting …
I wish to sit on that red chair of this machine.. i wish to meet everyone who has been with me in my past, last birth… those who will meet me in future, ppl whom i will meet when i will be born again … what i was in my last birth, what i will be in my next birth …
Thr was a Draft in my control pannel since long, named Aloo Paratha, where i had actually put a recipe of Aloo Paratha, but because of my lazyness and busy schedule i couldnt post it , it was just copy pasted from my notepad to draft, but the formting was pending.. and finally i deleted it today…
At this moment also … i am feeling sleepy & lazy to even write this post, but i am trying and forcing my best to become active and keep posting here …
Hope i get some time for myself … and start posting again … i see my last post on Dec 31, 2009 and after tht its being stretched….
Its not that i have nothing to write … i have lots and lots to write .. but but but … “chalega” … word has entered in my lifes dictionary and made it worst ..
then he enjoyed food at a place called “Say Cheese” in town..
18th Birthday morning, because it was my birthday, i was not suppose to do any work.. so i got up late … and Deep sacrificing his 1 whole day from work took me to lunch keeping his all imp work pending … and thn we watched this new released movie AVATAR at Imax Wadala… this was again a surprise.. he reminded me our old days .. when we were dating each other .. he useto take me to imax and we spend our weekends at this place.. eating , gaming and watching movies …haha.. thank you Deep you made my day ….
oh btw .. Avatar is amazing movie.. must watch..
and then went to “Chokhi Dhani” with Family for dinner … and this place too made my day fun filled … i love this place .. you guys make sure you visit thr once …
oh ya .. Deeps gift …
he bought HIS favorite thing….. a supper cozy quilt for me .. which he loves more then me .. hahahaha ..
and the day ends ….
but .. 19th night .. he makes me sit late till 3 AM gives his half work which he had kept pending because of my birthday… and we both finishes it .. haha …
but it was fun working last night till late … we actually enjoyed it … hahaha…
I dont think i would have been happy with anyone else in my life .. Deep is the best thing ever happened to me … Thank you for the surprises and aalllllllllllll love you give me here is something for you ….
Tu he meri hai sari zameen,
Chahe kahi se chalu,
Tujhpe he aake ruku,
Tere bina mai jau jaha,
Koi bhi raah chunu,
Tujhpe he aake ruku,
Tum mile to lamhe tham gaye,
Tum mile to sare gum gaye,
Tum mile to muskurana aagaya,
Tum mile to jadu chagaya,
Tum mile to jeena aagaya,
Tum mile to maine paya hai khuda.
Chaand bhi dekha,
Phool bhi dekha,
Baadal, bijli, titli, jugnu,
Koi nahin hai aisa,
Tera husn hai jaisa,
Meri nigaah ne ye kaisa khwaab dekha hai,
Zameen pe chalta hua mahathab dekha hai,
Meri aankhon ne chuna hai tujhko duniya dekhkar,
Kiska chehra,
Kiska chehra ab main dekhoon,
Tera chehra dekhkar,
Meri aankhon ne chuna hai tujhko duniya dekhkar,
Neend bhi dekhi,
Khwaab bhi dekha,
Choodi, bindiya, darpan, khushboo,
Koi nahin hai aisa,
Tera pyaar hai jaisa,
Meri aankhon ne chuna hai tujhko duniya dekhkar,
Kiska chehra,
Kiska chehra ab main dekhoon,
Tera chehra dekhkar,
Meri aankhon ne chuna hai tujhko duniya dekhkar,
Rang bhi dekha,
Roop bhi dekha,
Rasta, manzil, saahil, mehfil,
Koi nahin hai aisa,
Tera saath hai jaisa,
Meri aankhon ne chuna hai tujhko duniya dekhkar,
Kiska chehra,
Kiska chehra ab main dekhoon,
Tera chehra dekhkar,
Meri aankhon ne chuna hai tujhko duniya dekhkar,
Bahut khoobsuat hai aankhein tumhaari,
Bana dijiye inko kismat hamari,
Its a request to everyone .. please dont Buy or Use Fur stuff you have ..
And till today .. I was not against eating Non-Veg food even though I knew how they cut Chicken and how they cook it because i have seen it .. but from today I am not going to eat NonVeg at all .. not even Eggs ..
I hate these people who are doing this business.. how can they do this to innocent animals …
and after doing this .. how can they live peacefuly .. imagin someone pealing your skin .. imagin someone hitting you with a knife …
I am at my Sister’s Place in London… She has delivered a Cute little Baby Boy who came One month early ..
Named Arin .. its a sanskrit word which mean ‘ The one who does not have any enemy ‘ …
now this is not the imp part … what i am trying to say is ..
i was enjoying London weather, and play time with Arin … suddenly Arins Daddy catches cold .. and so he will not be staying near Arin now .. because babies catches germs quickly .. so my Jiju will be sleeping in my Room and i am shifted with Didi and Arin in thr room …
And now the part came which made me google the phrase “Sleeping Like A Baby” .. and as a result i found is … “It mean that you wake up every half-hour and cry and want food”
Hope you have understood what i am trying to say …
I slept in Didi’s room last night .. first of all i couldnt sleep till 1 .. because i have got habit of sleeping by 1 or 1.30 …
so.. Didi made Arin sleep at 10 and went to sleep as well..
Arin wakes up crying at 11 insted of 12 .. [ babies wake up at every 2 hours for food ]
gave him food and made him sleep…
again he wakes up at around 12 and .. his Mum gives him food and he goes to sleep ..
thn mummy wakes up after 20 min to change his nappie
its 1.15 .. Mummy wakes up .. changes his nappie .. surprisingly he didnt cry .. every one goes to sleep ..
its 2 now .. i felt like i m dreaming .. and thrs a lot of noise around me .. but why cant i see any faces in this dream ? .. wht kind of noise is this ? .. suddenly i wake up from sleep and what i found is .. Arin is crying … and its just 1 hour …
He eats again .. but just for 5 min … Didi keeps him back in his basket .. and he starts crying again ..
this time i told Didi .. tell him to eat more so tht he can sleep for longer hour ..
Didi takes him again and gives food and he goes to sleep
after this .. i have no idea how may time he has cried .. but i know that i have heard him 1000 times crying ..
and seen him twice being nappie changed .. and from 3 To 6 Saw him in Didi’s lap .. Didi is sleeping in sitting position and he is sleeping peacefully …
after 6 he again decides to cry .. and this time he wanted to cry in dolby digital sound system .. i actually kept my hand on my ears so tht i get atleas 0.000000001 or 2 percent less of his volume .. but all my hopes goes off in air in front of his loud crying noise and his smelly poo ..
again .. Didi.. Arin in her lap .. and we 3 go to sleep… its 11 now …. Didi is pushing me to wake me up .. because .. she wants to sleep and hands Arin over me to put him in his Basket … but guess what ? .. he doesnt want to sleep now .. and we put him down in the Lounge with his basket so that he can play …
and i started wondering .. What exactly is “Sleeping Like A Baby” ???
Falling in love is a bad thing .. I hate that I am in love with Deep..
I am in London at the moment.. far far away from Deep ..
I thought I am strong enough to live without him..
but dont know how .. and why.. I feel weak without him.. I miss him like anything.. if I dont talk to him on phone for longer time, I feel something is wrong .. something is parting me from him…
I starte worring about him.. I feel like running back to him to India and hug him tight…and tell him that dont you ever let me go away from you.. no matter what reason …
i keep telling everyone .. dont love anyone somuch that you cant live without him.. and I feel I do what I am saying… but I was wrong .. I am doing the opposite of what I say …
its all about I, Me, and My feelings.. I dont know what he is feeling.. I know he feels the same way .. but I am sure he is missing me much more thn I am..
Sorry for leaving you along baby .. miss you .. love you :! .. and i wont do it ever again …
.. love you :! .. and i wont do it ever again …