I am a very short tempered person, gets angry on every other minute and thing tht i dont like.
And that has taught me that i have many times ignored or said something bad to people who are expressing their feelings to me for them whom they don’t like or get irritated with… not knowing that how they are feeling ..
But now when i realise that i am getting mad at xyz person and the reason is this, and then when i recollect same feelings of them who had sometime shared their same feelings with me and i had ignored them or had given a lecture of being nice to others,i feel like saying sorry to them for not understanding them in past.
How will they be nice to others if others are not nice to them, when i met those not so nice or irritating people i got the same feelings… now even i feel like sharing those same feelings to them who had shared with me once….
BUT.. i can not, i can not because of many reasons,
They were lucky that i was their with them to listen to what they are saying, also they were unlucky because i was the one listening to them but not the one who understood them, i wish i had, i wish i had not said that “dont talk to me if you want to say something bad for xyz and abc, you better say good things about them or dont tell me anything, i dont want to talk to you”….
Also i feel that its my punishment of not being able to share my feelings with them because i had said something like this and for not understanding them, today i feel i was rude, i didnt try to understand them, i was unable to understand, i am sorry, i couldnt understand you, i am sorry that i said not to talk to me, i am sorry that i couldn’t put myself in your shoe and think from your point, i am sorry, now i will always be with you , be it anything, i will first understand you, then others, you are most important for me and not those people…
Many people i judged thinking that even they must be same like others, even they will cheat me like others had, i doubted you, i shout at you, i say anything to you because of others , just because i know that you will not go anywhere, just because i know that you are the one whom i must tell because others who are connected to you are irritating to me…
I am sorry that i never think about how you feel, i am sorry that i never think that you must be feeling bad because i say anything that i feel or think is right, i don’t think even once, i am sorry that i dont think about ‘whats your fault if others are like that ?’ , i am sorry that i get angry, i am sorry that i dont see your love towards me, i am sorry that i dont see what all you are giving me and still i think that i am happy but still not so happy because of 1 % that is irritating me, i am sorry for not seeing those 99.99% of the positive part of my life with you.
Those who have been with me all the time, good, bad, worst, knowing and not knowing they have always given me love and nothing else, will be with me even when whole universe will leave me alone.
I am sorry that i have not understood you many times,i am sorry that just because i always knew that you will give me everything and anything in this world i asked for everything i wanted, i am sorry that i hurt you the most in your life when you had the most expectations from me and i let you down, i am sorry that i am not doing anything in return for you, i am sorry that i am not able to give you all those things that you deserve , i am sorry that i am not able to use the training that you have given me that has made me capable to give you something in return that make you happy,
But i promise, i will give you everything that you deserve, everything that you always wanted, everything that you think about.
I promise i will be nice to you, to everyone i think are irritating, i will be the one you had always imagined in me.
I will make sure that i understand what you are going through, i will understand each and every word you say, everything that you must be feeling.
I Am Sorry to all You Guys i have mentioned here…. I promise that i will keep my promise, just one thing today i am asking for the last time from you is to Forgieve Me… Please.
I Am Sorry.